“The Promises of Christmas” from Faith and Victory Church by Pastor Matt Krachunis. Released: 2016.
“The Warrior’s Most Important Battle” from Faith and Victory Church by Pastor Jay Alexander. Released: 2016.
“Let all those rejoice who put their trust in You; Let them ever shout for joy, because you defend them; Let those also who love Your name be joyful in You.”
I had a stuck mindset for years. It stole my joy and kept me in a place of worry and doubt. It was a false view of God and a fear of disappointment. Instead of praising God for every good thing I was blessed with, I would wonder when He was going to take it all away. For this reason, I refused to get attached to the blessing. I refused to revel in the joy of it.
My grandmother played a big part in raising me. To her, disappointment was the big enemy. Whenever I would come to her with a big idea (usually a missions trip or something involving needing funds) she would frown and say “I don’t want you to get disappointed if you don’t get the money to go.” Her heart only wanted to love and protect me, but I began to fear what she feared. Thankfully God still blessed with my small measure of faith. When I had a stirring in my soul to “Go” He sent me. The money came in and the path was made for me.
Still, I continued on with my heavy baggage of doubting God wasn’t going to take back what He had given to me. When all the money came in for me to go on a mission’s trip, I wouldn’t allow myself to fully believe I was going until we boarded the plane! Years later, with each baby I took at least 5 pregnancy tests to confirm and even then I didn’t fully believe until I was at the doctor’s office. Maybe you laugh and think, “I had to take that many tests too with my kids” but I know, (for me) it was a symptom of my fear of disappointment and my doubt in a loving God.
Years later a few major life events happened that forced this mindset to come to the surface. The first was the purchase of our first home. I look back now and it is abundantly obvious God paved the way. Apart from our extreme pickiness (and the usual holdups with buying a home, we didn’t run into anything major. The house was (and still is) perfect, the location is perfect, the yard size-perfect, and the school district-exactly what we wanted. However, shortly after we moved in, our basement flooded. The house flippers finished the basement and neglected to put in a sump pump. Being the new homebuyers we were-we had no idea this was a necessity. Apparently the previous owners left the basement unfinished and put up with the water. I took this as confirmation that I wasn’t worthy and God was going to take the blessing of owning a home away from me. Quite a leap in thought process, isn’t it? But I had been living as a not-so-loved daughter of the King for so long, it was easy to interpret this inconvenience in a false way. Naturally we were able to fix our basement problem, we still own our home, but I looked at God like an abused kid tossed from family to family. I eyed Him suspiciously and looked longingly at my sisters in Christ who seemed to be favored daughters of the King.
Shortly after this, I did what I thought was impossible. I finally obtained my Bachelor’s Degree and before I had my teaching license in my hands, I got a job. I toured the school the day before Christmas break began. The halls were filled with kids singing as everyone was gathered in the gym for the holiday sing along. I had a stirring of excitement within me, but I pushed it down. I still didn’t have my teaching license and there ended up being a hold up. It was due to several factors, but that Christmas, I was filled with dread. I couldn’t enjoy the blessing of a new job. I assumed it would be taken from me. The holdup ended up being (yet again) a blessing. My husband developed “trigger finger” in both hands and needed surgery. Afterwards, he needed help with the most basic of tasks. A hold up in paperwork meant not only did I have a job, but I was able to take care of my family when my husband wasn’t able to.
Yesterday, I sent my class out on Christmas break, following a sing along in the gym, one year later. Isn’t God good all the time? Even when something doesn’t work out in our favor? I’m tired of seeing myself as unworthy of God’s love and blessings. There’s no joy there. I’m tired of letting the fear of disappointment keep me from enjoying what God has for me. God is tired of it too! How many times does He need to tell me (and you) “I have adopted you! You are mine!” Today you are His-tomorrow you will be too. Stop going around the mountain in a false mindset that keeps you from having joy and experiencing the joy of the Lord. You have been adopted!
“No More Blood” from Faith and Victory Church by Pastor Matt Krachunis. Released: 2016.
“On Your Mark! Set, Ready?” from Faith and Victory Church by Deacon Kevin Mugi. Released: 2016.
“Every Chain Broken” from Faith and Victory Church by Pastor Matt Krachunis. Released: 2016.
“Fully Persuaded” from Faith and Victory Church by Pastor Crystal Krachunis. Released: 2016.
“Faith Through Every Storm” from Faith and Victory Church by Pastor Matt Krachunis. Released: 2016.