I Was Turning To Everyone But God
I was standing before the Lord in worship one Wednesday service and I was craving a word from the Lord. I desperately wanted someone to pat me on the back and tell me what God wanted to say to me. Words seem to be flying that night. Our pastor had individual words for some ladies. I waited. I was disappointed because nothing came. I left with a “what about me?” question in my mind.
That night was a small symptom of a bigger problem. I was turning to everyone but God. I was relying on someone else to make me feel better. I had a long time friend I always depended on. I would call her with every single crisis I had. She always had a way of making me feel better. Except this one time. We had moved apart. Physically and spiritually. I had become a full time missionary and moved overseas. She began to doubt her faith in God. But she still made time for me. I called her crying every time I needed to process anything. One time I called her and our conversation was different. It was the first of many times where I realized I was using other people to fill voids in my life. My whole life I had been running to people for love, affirmation, acceptance and the whole time my heavenly father was standing there asking me, no-telling me, that HE is more than enough for me. More than enough for all my needs, all my desires, all my insecurities and all my brokenness.
Proverbs 8:17 says “I love those who love me; And those who diligently seek me will find me.” Diligently seek the Lord, and you will find him. Love the Lord, and He will love you. There’s nothing in there about seeking the approval of man or seeking the wisdom of man.
The Same Holy Spirit Lives in Me
I didn’t get a word from my Pastor that night in service, but I did get a word from God. God said, “I am enough for you.” I didn’t NEED a special word delivered by someone else. The same Holy Spirit living in the pastor, lives in me. I can’t live my life going from one crisis to another and calling my go-to person and saying “work your magic; I feel like garbage.” Hear me out, have a person, better yet, have an accountability partner whose job is to speak God’s truth in your life and point you toward Him. Have someone who directs your gaze back to the God who created you. A person who gives you a word in God’s perfect timing and champions your success. Do not have someone who lets you wallow in grief, strokes your ego, or gives you wordly advice.
Sometimes God is silent because He is waiting for you to rely on Him-to press in and seek His face above the comfort of anyone or anything else. Whatever you are going to before God, whatever you are relying on before God needs to go. It is an idol and it will only hold you back. In 1 Chronicles 16:11 the word proclaims, “Seek the LORD and His strength; Seek His face continually.” Seek Him continually, for everything you need. Seek His strength for every weakness you have. He wants to talk with you personally. He wants a personal relationship with just you-you are that valuable to Him! Press in to Him; He’s waiting to tell you magnificent things.