I COMMITTED ADULTERY Before I knew the Lord, I was 19 and got married over the phone. It was a tumultuous time in my life. I could tell you all the sordid details of the emotional abuse and name calling, or how he constantly went to strip clubs and came home smelling like perfume. How he was engaged to another the first year of our marriage and kept a secret post office box. How he went to hit me, but I ducked and never said anything back to him again. How I found pics of him with topless women. And the list goes on. Many of these things I used as an excuse to run away with another man.
The truth is I was a coward and too prideful to just leave and go back home to Texas and admit my failures. I came to the Lord my 22nd year of life and had to lay all my excuses on the altar. It didn’t matter what someone else had done to me, I was guilty before the Lord. This theme is present throughout Scripture. In the Levitical law the Lord said, “If a person sins and commits a trespass AGAINST THE LORD by lying to his neighbor…” (emphasis mine). Notice how God saw the sin of lying as a sin against Him, even though you are technically lying to another person. I truly don’t think people understand that all sin is a grave offense against God. Therefore, only He can forgive sins.
David in his adulterous sin with Bathsheba and then consecutive sin of murdering her husband, he confessed, “For I acknowledge my transgressions, And my sin is always before me. Against You, You only, have I sinned, And done this evil in Your sight— That You may be found just when You speak, And blameless when You judge.” Psalms 51:3-4 The story of the prodigal son records the same, “And the son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and in your sight, and am no longer worthy to be called your son.’” Luke 15:21
I meet Christians all the time who do not understand the weight of their sin and the high cost of the blood of Christ. These are smug and arrogant. I’m not sure some are even saved because of their low view of the cross and pride in themselves. If you’ve never understood the depth of your sin and it’s offense against the Lord; then how can you truly receive forgiveness?
Repentance requires that I acknowledge my sin. If you blame others, you are not there yet. I would say you have pride and pride is a grievous sin in the eyes of our Lord. Blaming someone else for why you had to sin is exactly what Adam did. There’s no true cleansing if you cannot admit your own faults and failures. To the Lord first and then to man. After I was saved, I went back to try to restore some kind of relationship with my ex, even if to repent to him how I hurt him. Is this not what Zacchaeus did? “Then Zacchaeus stood and said to the Lord, “Look, Lord, I give half of my goods to the poor; and if I have taken anything from anyone by false accusation, I restore fourfold.”” Luke 19:8
My ex never repented for his wrong doing, but I was cleansed and had to be obedient to the Holy Spirit. I was guilty before the Lord. I had been greatly forgiven by His blood. He translated me into His kingdom and filled me with His glorious Holy Spirit. Therefore I had no right to hold anything against anyone, not even my abuser. I’m going to make a definitive statement: if you still blame others, you’ve never really tasted of the goodness of the Lord.
Those who have truly repented and experienced the cleansing and forgiveness of sins have no demands but the demand to please and obey the Lord. “Therefore I say to you, her sins, which are many, are forgiven, for she loved much. But to whom little is forgiven, the same loves little.”” Luke 7:47 NKJVI do not operate from a position of shame or guilt for my past, even though these things still haunt me.
I do not think of myself more highly then I ought, nor do I think of myself less than I ought. I think of myself as the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus, who purchased me by His blood. I am loved. I am forgiven. I am cleansed. I am sanctified. I am justified. Yet, I always hold what He did for me in high regard. Pride stinks. God requires humility in His children. All Him, not of myself.
My sin was against Him alone. If you think God cannot use someone like me, then you definitely do not understand the cross. “For you see your calling, brethren, that not many wise according to the flesh, not many mighty, not many noble, are called. But God has chosen the foolish things of the world to put to shame the wise, and God has chosen the weak things of the world to put to shame the things which are mighty; and the base things of the world and the things which are despised God has chosen, and the things which are not, to bring to nothing the things that are, that no flesh should glory in His presence.”I Corinthians 1:26-29 NKJV#runyourrace
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