WHAT YOU ALLOW, you will pass on to your children’s children. We often lift up King David as a man after God’s own heart. He wrote most of the psalms and fought Goliath with faith and a few smooth stones. But David failed miserably in a huge area- parenthood. But what I want you to notice that this lack of discipline was passed down to him. The priest Eli failed to discipline his sons. And who did Eli disciple? The prophet Samuel. Samuel failed to discipline his sons. And who did Samuel disciple? King David. And David failed to discipline his sons and the sword never left his house.
“(And his father David had not rebuked him at any time by saying, “Why have you done so?” He was also very good-looking. His mother had borne him after Absalom.)” I Kings 1:6
People are so shortsighted. Just like Israel selling herself to all the nations and having no awareness that she was called to be a great nation, a nation pure and holy who called on the Lord. Israel was to look a certain way as God’s holy people, and not look like all the pagan and wicked nations surrounding her. The modern day American church has followed in Israel’s footsteps:
“Jerusalem has sinned gravely, Therefore she has become vile. All who honored her despise her Because they have seen her nakedness; Yes, she sighs and turns away. Her uncleanness is in her skirts; She did not consider her destiny; Therefore her collapse was awesome; She had no comforter. “O Lord, behold my affliction, For the enemy is exalted!”” Lamentations 1:8-9
“She did not consider her destiny.” Let those words sink in for a moment. When you do not discipline and train your children in righteousness, to love and fear the Lord, to live in a holy manner and not look like the world, but you let them take part in the world’s manner and dress your daughters provocatively, selling your children to Molech; you are not considering their destiny. You are shortsighted. You cannot just pray and release them to the wolves. You have to train them in righteousness. You have to discipline them and teach them what it looks like to love and fear a holy and awesome God.
What I see from most parents is that they would rather be their kid’s friend than have to actually parent them. Your kids have enough friends. They need a parent who shows them what is right and what is wrong. Training requires that you teach and instruct. It requires you set limits and boundaries for your children. It requires you tell them, “No. You are not going there. You are not doing that. You are not hanging out with those kids. You are not going out of those house wearing that.”
You must teach your children how to be obedient. They do not know. It is the first commandment with promise, “children obey your parents”. That’s where the blessings lay. Kids do not automatically obey. They have to be taught, trained and disciplined. How will they ever learn how to obey the Lord when you’ve not taught them to obey the first authority put over them? When did you lose your authority? At what point did you just roll over and let your kid do what they wanted? Why are you letting them dress so provocatively and not protecting them, not only from the wolves but from themselves? Please help me to understand. Undisciplined, rude, self-centered and disrespectful children are not cute and it will get worse as they age.
“Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it.”
Proverbs 22:6 NKJV
The above is wisdom, not a promise. Wisdom says that if you train properly, they will not depart. Training is not sitting back and letting them do what they want. Training requires discipline and instruction. It requires not sparing the rod, but rather consistently refining, molding and structuring. It’s not their choice until they leave your home. You have to train them how to choose rightly. Just like physical training requires discipline, recording your workouts, strict diet and conditioning, training your children requires the same.
I have people ask me all the time about my kids and how did they turn out so stellar. How did we keep them in purity? How did they stay out of trouble? I tell them all the same: love and consistent discipline. We taught them to make the right choice. In matters that do not matter, they could choose; but in matters that potentially could affect the rest of their life, we choose and led them down that path. They did not have the wisdom as a teen make to make wise choices. This is training.
I had a dad tell me “his daughter was not raised that way” when she was living in gross rebellion and sin. And I looked at him and said, “Yes she was. You failed to train her. You let her have her own way and you are now reaping the results of your lack of training”. Failing to train your children properly is like sending a solder into the hottest part of the battle having never learned how to use his weapon, or put on his armor. That soldier is naked, no helmet, no combat boots, no water, no training. He’s going to get shot and you will have to deal with the consequences of never training.
There’s still hope. If your child is still under your roof, you are the authority. You have some hard work to do. You have to pull out bad weeds and the thorns you’ve allowed to grow. But there’s still time to train. Do it now. Your kids will protest, that’s ok. You have their destiny in your mind. If your child has left your home, never cease to pray and when they open the door, apologize for your failure and begin to plant those good seeds. It may be that they will hear and respond in repentance and tears and not only run back to the Father, but not pass on the lack of training to their own children.
To Learn More About Pastor Crystal please visit the Leadership Page