CONSISTENCY BUILDS TRUST. Do you wonder why people do not trust you? Look at your life. A life that’s full of ups and downs in behavior, or a person who is one day hot and the next day cold, or they are always shatter when adversity comes and cannot seem to hold it together through any storm; displays to others a faith that is inconsistent. I for one do not trust an inconsistent person. The Bible say this man is “double-minded and unstable in all his ways”. But a lot of people are self-deceived and cannot see their own behavior. Let me ask you a question: do people flock to you or run from you?
Your behavior displays things about you to others. I tell my ladies that if someone gossips to you about another then they most assuredly are talking about you to others. People often complain of churches having “cliques” because they don’t have friends. This can be true, but is rarely the case. A clique is defined as an exclusive group of friends. This means they will not allow you to join their group.
Churches like most large organizations have “friend groups”. A friend group is typically formed from shared interests and shared life events. For example, I am in the empty nester group. This means in my spare time, I don’t want to hang out with people who have young kids. I like you and I like kids, I just want my free time with someone in my stage of life. I will not exclude you if you have young kids, but I’m not choosing to hang out with you.
Back to consistency. A pattern of consistent behavior produces trust in others. It is different to have a bad day than to always be in a bad mood when things don’t go your way. If I’m having a bad day, I try to let others around me know I’m grumpy. Then I apologize for my bad behavior. But if your name is always coming up because you are in a fight with someone again, or you are mad at someone again, or you are blaming someone again, or you lost your temper again, or you are the victim again, and the list goes on; this type of negative and inconsistent behavior produces distrust in people. Most people want to trust you, but they can’t. Inconsistent behavior produces distrust.
Daniel was a consistently faithful man living in a pagan nation under a pagan ruler. They sought to destroy him and it was his consistency that the king trusted him, but it was also the same consistency that they accused him.
“Now when Daniel knew that the writing was signed, he went into his house, and his windows being open in his chamber toward Jerusalem, he got down upon his knees three times a day and prayed and gave thanks before his God, as he had done previously.” Daniel 6:10
We know he was saved through the lion’s den by the hand of the Lord. Your behavior is revealing things to others and they are deciding if they can trust you or not. I am so consistent in my running that I had a neighbor tell me that he could set his watch by me. People listen and learn from people they trust. If we don’t have trust, then we will struggle to have friends and worse struggle to get them to accept the message we preach.
A key way to establish trust is to be consistent in what we do and say. Let your yes be yes and your no be no. Show up to things you commit to and show up on time. Do what you say you will do. Let your behavior display a good and faithful God, not the Greek god Zeus who’s always finicky and throwing temper tantrums. Consistency helps build trust while inconsistency can lead to distrust or a loss of trust.
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