Dealing with Difficult People

Dealing with difficult people 2 sam 16:1-14

  1. First difficult person- Ziba
  • In this story- Ziba is the servant of Mephiboseth- You may remember him from earlier sermons
  • Mephibosheth was son of Jonathan, Grandson of King Saul- Ziba comes to David to bring him provisions for him and his men. David has no reason to think anything is awry
  • Ziba has shown up with provisions to help David- so david gives him what belongs to mephibosheth
  • 3 Then the king said, “And where is your master’s son?” And Ziba said to the king, “Indeed he is staying in Jerusalem, for he said, ‘Today the house of Israel will restore the kingdom of my father to me.’ ”
  • Here’s the problem tho- Ziba was lying. We’ll find that out in 2 sam 19. Mephibosheth says in v 26 “O king, my servant deceived me.”
  • Ziba told Mephibosheth and lie and then told David a lie to cover up his lie. He was a liar
  • Mephibosheth assumed his servant was honorable, and so did David- Why wouldn’t he?
  • But he wasn’t He was a self-serving miscreant. Most agree he wanted to be seen as the last heir to Saul so he could claim land and influence.
  • That’s why liars typically lie- they want influence, valuables, or notoriety to get the former.
  • You probably already know this- but God doesn’t like liars or lies.
  • Proverbs 19:9 A false witness will not go unpunished, And he who speaks lies shall perish.
  • Psalm 101:7 He who works deceit shall not dwell within my house; He who tells lies shall not continue in my presence.
  • Jesus even went so far to say in John 8:44 that Satan is the father of lies.
  • Colossians 3:9 Do not lie to one another, since you have put off the old man with his deeds,
  • Ephesians 4:25 Therefore, putting away lying, “Let each one of you speak truth with his neighbor,” for we are members of one another.
  • What does it mean to you?
  • First off- Don’t be a liar. No one likes a liar. There’s no need to lie, but people do it for many reasons- Protect their image, denigrate another (to increase their image), Deflect attention to someone else, And just like Ziba- be trying to influence you so they can get what they want
  • Don’t be that person. Don’t be a liar. The problem with a liar, is that you can never trust them.
  • But what should you do to the liar? Expose them? Always be distrustful? No- Be you.
  • Love the liar- Liars are people too- God will deal with them- You don’t have to work it so hard
  • 4 So the king said to Ziba, “Here, all that belongs to Mephibosheth is yours.”
  • And Ziba said, “I humbly bow before you, that I may find favor in your sight, my lord, O king!”
  • David took Ziba at his word- He gets found out in 2 sam 19- but David can’t worry about it
  • Who Ziba is will be found out eventually- and so will every liar in your life- And if you’re a liar, you will be found out as well. It just takes time. Liars can never keep their stories straight
  • Love em- 1 Cor 13:7 bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
  • If your heart is in the right place- you probably get lied to all the time- because you are not cunning Titus 1:15 To the pure all things are pure,
  • Now- some will say- what if I KNOW they are lying- deal with it accordingly- I’m just saying-

you cant live your life thinking everyone is lying to you- being a sleuth- let God deal w them

  • If you find out someone is lying- love em anyway- Don’t trust em- but love em,1 Pet 4:8 And above all things have fervent love for one another, for “love will cover a multitude of sins.”
  • Prov 25 21-22 If your enemy is hungry, give him bread to eat; And if he is thirsty, give him water to drink; 22 For so you will heap coals of fire on his head, And the Lord will reward you.
  1. Second difficult person- Shimei the son of Gera
  • Read v 5-8- Comes out cursing- throwing stones at David- obviously upset about something
  • When people curse and accuse you
  • But anyway- Back to Shimei- he’s upset- He thinks David did Saul wrong and that he deserves to have his son take over his kingdom- He’s cursing David and David is his ruler- his king
  • Exodus 22:28 “You shall not revile God, nor curse a ruler of your people.
  • He apparently forgot this verse and is publicly ridiculing David for what he thinks he did wrong
  • Here’s the deal tho- David was an honorable man through the whole ordeal with Saul
  • He never lost sight of who the king was and who he was- he honored God through it all
  • David knows it. God knows it. Shimei doesn’t know it and now he’s publicly demeaning David
  • Now most of us in this predicament- knowing we are right- knowing they are wrong want to publicly defend ourselves. Its natural. When someone attacks you you want to defend.
  • Abishai wanted to-v 9 Then Abishai the son of Zeruiah said to the king, “Why should this dead dog curse my lord the king? Please, let me go over and take off his head!”
  • Little side note- Abishai is there again- Down for whatever with David-
  • Everyone needs an Abishai and everyone should be an Abishai to someone-but he was wrong
  • David doesn’t respond the same way that Shimei did to him- and neither should you
  • When people curse you- publicly destroy you- Don’t take the bait- its unbiblical
  • David didn’t he told his guys to leave him alone- Let him be- He knows that he is king-
  • 11 And David said to Abishai and all his servants, “See how my son who came from my own body seeks my life. How much more now may this Benjamite? Let him alone, and let him curse; for so the Lord has ordered him.
  • What does it mean to you?
  • People are going to attack you publicly and say mean things about you. Its life- it happens
  • Don’t return evil for evil 1 Peter 3:9 not returning evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary blessing, knowing that you were called to this, that you may inherit a blessing.
  • Your momma was right- don’t go down to their level. Its hard- but don’t do it.
  • proverbs 20:22 Do not say, “I will recompense evil”; Wait for the Lord, and He will save you.
  • The Bible makes it clear that we are not supposed to respond to public accusers
  • Romans 12:14 Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse.
  • Public accusers have made it clear what their character is- because they didn’t go in private.
  • This is hard to hold back- I struggle with it- Hate being disrespected. Remind -CHRISTIAN
  • Romans 12:17 Repay no one evil for evil. Have regard for good things in the sight of all men Trust God- You have to trust God through it all- Knowing that he will make it right.
  • 10 But the king said, “What have I to do with you, you sons of Zeruiah? So let him curse, because the Lord has said to him, ‘Curse David.’ Who then shall say, ‘Why have you done so?’
  • You have to Trust that God is watching and that God will take care of that person and YOU
  • Jesus spoke this to his disciples- he told them that they would get into problems as his follower.
  • Matt 5:11 Blessed are you when they revile and persecute you, and say all kinds of evil against you falsely for My sake. 12 Rejoice and be exceedingly glad, for great is your reward in heaven, for so they persecuted the prophets who were before you.
  • You can’t get sucked into what negative people are doing- you just can’t you got to endure.
  • Your reward will be great in heaven. That’s what it says!

3.When they wont let up

  • So David does the right thing- Tells his guys to leave Shimei alone and they go on their way
  • Except Shimei doesn’t let up! Follows them along and continues to harass them!
  • 13 And as David and his men went along the road, Shimei went along the hillside opposite him and cursed as he went, threw stones at him and kicked up dust.
  • Aint this just like the world? You do the right thing- you try to walk away and they just keep up
  • You keep quiet, you don’t attack back, you don’t throw stones, you don’t do nothing-
  • But they keep it up. Posting on facebook, calling you, texting you, coming by your house
  • Its enough to make you want to lose all control and do something about it-
  • Here’s what you do Trust God- don’t get weary
  • v12 It may be that the Lord will look on my affliction, and that the Lord will repay me with good for his cursing this day.” 14 Now the king and all the people who were with him became weary; so they refreshed themselves there.
  • You got to trust that even when you’re going through it- God is going to take care of it. Always
  • Romans 12:19-21 READ
  • God’s vengeance is better than ours ever can be. God is real and he’s watching and he will take care of it- You have to trust him. Don’t get all worked up about the stuff you cant control
  • The relentless nature of accusers, scoffers and attackers Is that they have something to prove
  • So do you- To prove that you love Jesus and want to live according to his precepts.
  • Matthew 5:44 But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you,
  • Luke 6:27-29 “But I say to you who hear: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, 28 bless those who curse you, and pray for those who spitefully use you. 29 To him who strikes you on the one cheek, offer the other also. And from him who takes away your cloak, do not withhold your tunic either.
  • 1 Peter 2:20-23 READ– Jesus didn’t say a word
  • Matthew 27:14 But He answered him not one word, so that the governor marveled greatly.
  • And what you tell yourself in your mind is- What will happen if I don’t respond?
  • Worried about your reputation? Worried what people will think about you?
  • Anyone who can be swayed by a false accusation isn’t someone you want in your corner anyway
  • Worried about your life? This can include up to and including persecution and crucifixtion
  • That’s ok! You’ll be in Good company- but the reality is that you probably wont die.
  • God will vindicate you. God will take care of you. God will redeem you.

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