How To Not Get Kicked Out Of Church

  • Matthew 18:15-20 How to not Get kicked out of church
  • Today we talk about Church Discipline. How we deal with a sinning brother in the Church
  • This is very important part of being part of a Church. Any Church that doesn’t practice discipline isn’t a church. In the same way that any parent that Doesn’t discipline their children isn’t a family. Title of Today’s Message- “how to not get kicked out of Church”
  • The idea of Church discipline is either foreign to you, or you’ve had a bad experience with it.
  1. What is church Discipline
  2. It is the public formal removal of an unrepentant actively sinning member of the church
  3. It is because of unrepentant public sin that has been addressed privately did not remedy
  4. Being under “Church discipline” means that someone is no longer considered a member of Christ’s Church and other members of the church limit their relationship with them
  • Why don’t churches practice Church discipline
  • Anecdotally I think there are few different reasons
  • Size- Some churches are so large with so many attenders, that the model doesn’t allow for the level of accountability that the Bible requires- Typically only pastors will come under discipline, because they are the only people whom everyone knows- people can hide in big churches
  • Consumerism/convenience  attend the “online campus” you will NEVER come under discipline.
  • Lack of membership- Many churches of all sizes do not have a formal membership process, so they don’t have a formal removal process- No standards for membership- no discipline
  • Desire for numbers- when you want people to stay, you will do whatever to keep them
  • Lack of preaching on sin- No one is in sin if you never preach on it. No standards- no discipline
  • Shallow relationship– don’t know your people- regardless of size- you don’t know their lives
  • Lack of courage- Many churches do not want to suffer the scorn of their people/community
  • Biblically Illiterate- Many churches, pastors and attenders don’t know what the Bible teaches.
  • Every organization has standards
  • Marriages, parents, jobs, clubs, HOA, the law, restaurants, movie theaters, gyms: standards
  • There is always a point at which the group tells the outlier- You can’t be a part of this anymore
  • Even criminal gangs have standards of conduct within their gang that if you don’t live up to it, you get pushed out. Cant be on the football team with another jersey on.
  • You have limits to your friendships, your own relationships points where you have enough
  • God, throughout the Bible has standards of conduct
  • There is a point at which people are no longer allowed to be part of the group
  • Leviticus 13:46 He shall be unclean. All the days he has the sore he shall be unclean. He is unclean, and he shall dwell alone; his dwelling shall be outside the camp.Deuteronomy 23:14 14 For the Lord your God walks in the midst of your camp, to deliver you and give your enemies over to you; therefore your camp shall be holy, that He may see no unclean thing among you, and turn away from you. Leviticus 24:14 “Take outside the camp him who has cursed; then let all who heard him lay their hands on his head, and let all the congregation stone him.
  • In the Old testament there were standards for people to be part of Israel to be in fellowship, there were standards for who could be allowed to be in the camp if they were unclean.
  • In the NT- There are standards as well- Talked about this before- worth revisiting.
    • 2 tim 3:1-5 And from such people turn away 1 Corinthians 5:11 But now I have written to you not to keep company with anyone named a brother, who is sexually immoral, or covetous, or an idolater, or a reviler, or a drunkard, or an extortioner—not even to eat with such a person. Romans 16:17 Now I urge you, brethren, note those who cause divisions and offenses, contrary to the doctrine which you learned, and avoid them. 2 John 10 If anyone comes to you and does not bring this doctrine, do not receive him into your house nor greet him; 2 Thes 3:14 And if anyone does not obey our word in this epistle, note that person and do not keep company with him, that he may be ashamed. 1 Corinthians 5:13 But those who are outside God judges. Therefore “put away from yourselves the evil person.”
  • Discipline is Biblical.
  • Heb 12:6 For whom the Lord loves He chastens, And scourges every son whom He receives.”
  • Chastening means that God loves us- If you’re not disciplined- you’re not a son
  • Heb 12:11 Now no chastening seems to be joyful for the present, but painful; nevertheless, afterward it yields the peaceable fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.
  • Its not joyful at the time- But it does produce fruit in you if you submit to it. Holiness to the lord
  • Pro 12:1 Whoever loves instruction loves knowledge, But he who hates correction is stupid.
  • When we discipline one another in LOVE we are growing in righteousness- we are being discipled through discipline and being disciplined as we’re being Corrected-
  • Everything require training- And Christianity is no different. We must be trained.
  • And DISCIPLINE produces LOVE- Kids who are not disciplined are not loving. They are selfish
  • The Process
  • Most people don’t like confrontation- but sometimes, it comes to that point
  • If you love someone enough- you will confront them in their sin because you love them-
  • Its for the other person. James 5:19-20 Brethren, if anyone among you wanders from the truth, and someone turns him back, 20 let him know that he who turns a sinner from the error of his way will save a soul from death and cover a multitude of sins.
  • But it must be gentle- Gal 6:1 if a man is overtaken in any trespass, you who are spiritual restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness, considering yourself lest you also be tempted.
  • First step- v15 Go to them alone- Don’t go and talk to someone else to build up your courage, don’t go and talk to the pastor- don’t call, text, write. Go and meet with them in person
  • If you don’t have this courage- its not that important to you. Remember its for them- Be GENTLE- I would recommend praying and fasting before this meeting and having bible verse.
  • Hopefully you will “win them over” the sin is address, Sin is confessed. Restoration. Move fwd.
  • Ask them to confess their sin and sin no more- Ja 5:1 Confess your trespasses to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed.
  • Second step– If they don’t repent and they don’t listen v 16. Take one or two with you
  • Go and bring another person who is their friend. Beg them to repent and stop the sin
  • This is the point of defiance- If two people are before you telling you you need to stop abusing substances, having illicit sex, gossiping, being angry, stealing from people, etc. LISTEN
  • Just repent! Admit that you are struggling! We all struggle- what we DON’T do is celebrate sin- we don’t say “I’m not changing” or get defensive- we just admit that its sin, confess and move on-SIN WILL KEEP YOU OUT OF HEAVEN- And IT will get you kicked out of Church
  • Third step v17 Bring it to the Church. After one, and then 2 ask for repentance- and they refuse- and they continue in sin- It must be made public- Fellowship must be broken.
  • (One time years ago- 2 married people- said “God is in this” nope- marked, removed)
  • 1 Timothy 5:20 Those who are sinning rebuke in the presence of all, that the rest also may fear.
  • 1 Corinthians 5:5 deliver such a one to Satan for the destruction of the flesh, that his spirit may be saved in the day of the Lord Jesus.
  • V18 Let them be to you as a heathen or a tax collector- someone who is no longer considered a member of God’s church- but must be ministered to as a unregenerate person- unsaved.
  • Remember v 18-19 Whatever you bind- forbid by the law of God- and loose- give freedom by the law of God is what will happen in heaven. If 2 or 3 agree-
  • 1 Ti 5:19 Do not receive an accusation against an elder except from two or three witnesses.
  • The point is for it to not get to that point– Repent to God on your own- ask for forgiveness- don’t persist in sin- Run from it- And for the love of God- if one person comes to you- repent!
  • Here’s the end of it- 20 For where two or three are gathered together in My name, I am there in the midst of them.”
  • 2 or 3 gathered is not church- Its judgment. Church discipline- Whenever you hear that for the rest of your life remember that 2 or 3 isn’t ditching church its exercising discipline on a sinning unrepentant church member.
  • This is rare. But it’s necessary to do it.
  • The stakes are high
  • Are we going to be the church of Smyrna in Rev 2-3? Known for blasphemy, greediness, and synagogue of Satan? The church of Pergamos- Committing sexual immorality, The church of Thyatira- Tolerating sin and craziness? Christ is returning for his church and how will he find us?
  • The Church of Sardis that is dead? The Church of Laodacia that was lukewarm?
  • Or the Philadelphia Church- That was known as faithful? “A little leaven leavens the Lump”
  •  You have to have the right view of the church
  • Many people do not have the right view of the church- If you do not have the right view of the church, you will be resistant to church discipline. You will think of it as mean and judgmental.
  • Many people view the church as a club, a consumer product, a place to meet people, a place to feel better, hear good music, preaching, feel better about themselves, a better 12 step program
  • And then we live around a bunch of Christians who say things like “you don’t have to go to Church to be a Christian” and “the Church is not a building” and “wherever 2 or 3 are gathered”
  • If you do not value the institution of the Church- you see no value in church discipline
  • To those people, the church is about them and for them so they don’t practice discipline, and they don’t submit to discipline. They just find another place to go and get what they need
  • Often times at a much larger church where they can hide, or a small church where they can lie.
  • The Church is valuable! Its not a club, a gym, a restaurant, a karaoke bar. Its not a hospital for sinners or battle ship going to war. It’s not coffee bar or singles club. Its not a place to play your instrument or volunteer your time to ‘give back’. Its not a place to just make friends.
  • The Church is the center of Truth
  • 1 Ti 3:15 but if I am delayed, I write so that you may know how you ought to conduct yourself in the house of God, which is the church of the living God, the pillar and ground of the truth.
  • That means that the center of truth for all people all over the world is the Church-
  • It is the “Church of the living God” not the “Church of the living room”
  • This church, and all global churches that are in the truth- were bought with a price
  • The Church was bought with the Blood- How valuable is it?
  • Acts 20:28 take heed to yourselves and to all the flock, among which the Holy Spirit has made you overseers, to shepherd the church of God which He purchased with His own blood.
  • If you had attended the public crucifixion of Jesus and then attended church- how would you treat it? What value would it have for you? What harm would you let people do to it?
  • The people that are committed to a church that Give, serve, and have relationships understand the purchase- because it came at a cost- they defend it because they are invested in it.
  • The Church is a dwelling place for God.
  • Ephesians 2:20-22 READ
  • Oh wow- “the whole building” wonder what that means- probably we are the building.
  • “Built together” doesn’t sound like individual Christianity to me
  • “a dwelling place for God in the Spirit” God lives here- This is where he lives.
  • The visible body of Christ
  • Rom 12:5 so we, being many, are one body in Christ, and individually members of one another.
  • We have been made into the Body of Christ! We are the representative of him on this planet!
  • How then should his body be displayed to the world? What do we tolerate? Who shall we be?
  • Christ is our Head
  • Colossians 1:18 And He is the head of the body, the church, who is the beginning, the firstborn from the dead, that in all things He may have the preeminence.
  • But many people don’t view the church through a biblical lens- They are caught up in their own selfishness and biblical illiteracy- The church is just another place to be served, where prices get lowered, you talk to the manager, get people fired, sue them and wish their destruction
  • Words are not chosen wisely, the church is not revered, its leaders are not honored, the congregation is not loved, her ministries not supported, sacrifices not made.
  • I love the Church! I love the Church because Christ loves the church
  • Ep 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her
  • If Jesus gave his life for the Church- I’m going to give my life for the Church
  • Its where I worship God, its where his word sustains me through preaching, It’s where I get the Love of the Father and love of the brethren. Its where I got saved and where I have been kept
  • Its where I gain brothers and sisters and learn what it means to love, serve, give and sustain.
  • I’ve lost friends, I’ve lost jobs, I’ve lost money. I’ve been hurt by people and been scared. I’ve lived different places and I’ve traveled many places. And the only constant in my whole life has been God’s holy Church.
  • I’m nothing without her! I don’t want to live without here. I was married in a church, and the final moments of this earthly body will be in a Church.
  • And because I love Jesus, his body the Church, and his word, we will walk it out.
  • People will say things about us because they do not know the Bible, the Church or Jesus
  • Pay them no mind- We will “be the Church”
  • So, how to not get kicked out of Church? If you are in sin and someone calls you out on it, just admit that they are right, repent, and praise God.

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