Love Your Enemies and Hate Your Friends

2 sam 19:1-8 Love your enemies and hate your friends

  1. Pleasing God is never a disgrace
  • 5 Then Joab came into the house to the king, and said, “Today you have disgraced all your servants who today have saved your life, the lives of your sons and daughters, the lives of your wives and the lives of your concubines,
  • Joab comes in and is upset with David- Why? David was weeping over his son Absalom. Upset that he was killed and that his people didn’t meet his demand to treat him kindly.
  • He’s also probably lamenting over the fact that he was the one who caused all of it- with Bath.
  • But Joab attacks him- Why? Because Joab doesn’t have David’s heart. He has a heart of war.
  • He says “You have disgraced all your servants” In his mind, the payment his servants should have got was to see David Kill Absalom
  • We’ve been re-watching Star Wars- Its kind of like the Emperor in Jedi- Wanted Vader to Kill Luke, but in the End, Vader still had love for Luke because he was his son. Not exactly- kind of
  • David’s heart- Psalm 19:14 Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart Be acceptable in Your sight, O Lord, my strength and my Redeemer.
  • David wanted to please God- He showed it through his whole life- Remember This is the shepherd boy who would fight bears, sings songs, fought Goliath, ran from Saul, Lead Israel. He’s full grown man now- but don’t forget his heart- And Joab comes and questions his heart because David didn’t respond how HE thought he should have?
  • Galatians 1:10 For do I now persuade men, or God? Or do I seek to please men? For if I still pleased men, I would not be a bondservant of Christ.
  • David wanted to please God- Not Joab. Its clear- Remember when he could have killed Saul?
  • 2 Cor 5:9 Therefore we make it our aim, whether present or absent, to be well pleasing to Him.
  • What does it mean to you?
  • Do you feel like serving God and living for Him is a disgrace? Do you feel disgraced? Are you afraid? Do you worry more about what people think than God thinks? GOD IS WATCHING
  • Matthew 10:28 And do not fear those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. But rather fear Him who is able to destroy both soul and body in hell.
  • We are to live to please God- and inevitably when we do so- it will not make sense to the world
  • Some people worship the opinions of men. They care too much what people think-
  • John 12:43 for they loved the praise of men more than the praise of God.
  • and when you DO do whats right- they call you a disgrace- and its not true! If God is pleased, that’s all ! You don’t have to worry if the Joab’s of your life agree with you or understand-
  • Proverbs 29:25 The fear of man brings a snare,But whoever trusts in the Lord shall be safe.
  • If you are living worry about what the Joabs of your life think, you’re never going to make it
  • Joab’s look through the eyes of the World- not through the eyes of the truth of the Gospel
  • When you live an Gospel-centered existence- you’re not going to please the world.
  • And those small and large decisions you make that no one sees but God- He’ll bless it
  • And I want to encourage you- No one else may appreciate it or see it- but God does!
  • Society will be moving into a realm where God followers are chastised- don’t give up!
  • Acts 5:29 But Peter and the other apostles answered and said: “We ought to obey God rather than men.
  1. We don’t live like the world
  • 6 in that you love your enemies and hate your friends. For you have declared today that you regard neither princes nor servants; for today I perceive that if Absalom had lived and all of us had died today, then it would have pleased you well.
  • That’s what happens when you live according to God’s word- People will misunderstand you because you do not think, believe or act like the world- They will never understand.
  • Psa 1:1-6 Its interesting this is the beginning of the Psalms- David is establishing immediately what he and his psalms are about- I’m not going to be doing what you think I should be doing
  • Retribution, destruction, anger, frustration, these are currencies of he world- not the righteous.
  • Proverbs 25:21-22 If your enemy is hungry, give him bread to eat; And if he is thirsty, give him water to drink; 22 For so you will heap coals of fire on his head,And the Lord will reward you.
  • Even in the Old testament- God’s ways were not the way of the world- you see this through the OT- I love the story of Joseph- His brothers sold him into slavery and he wanted to save them!
  • He didn’t hold a grudge, he didn’t want them to die- he wanted them to live, even tho they deserved to die.
  • The truth is that many people who claim Christ love the world more than the love the Lord. They love what the world does, has, is about, what it can provide. They love its entertainment, its products, everything about it. But we don’t live like the world lives.
  • Pr 24:17 Do not rejoice when your enemy falls, And do not let your heart be glad when he stumbles;
  • These are difficult heart issues that we must learn to control to be able to please God but we are not like the world- its not how we operate and the world will never understand.
  • 1 cor 10:3 For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war according to the flesh. 4 For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty in God for pulling down strongholds,
  • How the people of God respond, live, act to please the Lord will not look like the world looks or agree with its ways and means.
  • What does it mean to you
  • Have you settled in your heart that the world isn’t going to understand or agree with you if you are living up to ideals of what God wants you to do? You must settle this matter in your heart
  • As you live, unto Christ, and according to his word, more and more the world is not going to understand you. You must be ok with that
  • Luke 6:27 “But I say to you who hear: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you,
  • The standards of Jesus- if someone is your enemy, love them. Very counter cultural
  • Love is reserved for those we like, we agree with, we enjoy being around. Friends and fam
  • But no- Jesus says- Love those people that hate you. Further more, do good to them
  • The retributive nature of the American ethos would not agree with this sentiment. It would demand that you mete out retribution and justice- “give them what they deserve” but no
  • Jesus goes even further in Luke 6:28 bless those who curse you, and pray for those who spitefully use you.
  • When is the last time you spent a good time in prayer praying for your enemies?
  • Praying that they would be blessed- that good things would happen in their lives.
  • We are bound to standards of conduct- not just in your actions, but in your heart
  • And these aren’t easily discerned, understood or walked out. You must lay yourself before God almighty and pray and ask him to change your heart- do the hard work of heart change
  • When joab says “ you love your enemies but hate your friends” its actually true according to Jesus- Its interested he tells us in Luke 14:26“If anyone comes to Me and does not hate his father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters, yes, and his own life also, he cannot be My disciple.
  • But then he says to love your enemies- Why? Because pleasing him is the most important thing
  1. Speak comfort
  • David’s heart is always to please God, and he was misunderstood by Joab, but in the end, He’s the king and he has a responsibility to his people- he must go to them.
  • They need to hear from him- They need to hear some understanding of what it all means
  • READ v 7-8
  • “There is the king, sitting in the gate.” So all the people came before the king.
  • David went to his people- He spoke comfort to them. They may not have understood all the details, but they needed the words of the king- to guide and direct them.
  • Proverbs 25:11-12 A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold In settings of silver. 12 Like an earring of gold and an ornament of fine gold Is a wise rebuker to an obedient ear.
  • Israel had just been through a lot and they needed the comfort of their king- His words
  • Its interesting how words work. They can encourage or discourage- uplift or demean
  • We all know it- we just forget it- we forget that what we say and how we say it matters
  • Proverbs 15:23 A man has joy by the answer of his mouth, And a word spoken in due season, how good it is!
  • What does it mean to you
  • What are you speaking with your mouth? To yourself and to others? What comes out of your mouth? Do you choose your words?
  • And this applies to everything- Your relationships, work, family, social media etc
  • You must watch what you say and how you say it because it matters
  • Ephesians 4:29 Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers.
  • When I do relationship advice it always includes- right place, right time, right attitude
  • You ruin your relationships when you don’t control your tongue- you destroy it.
  • James 3:2 For we all stumble in many things. If anyone does not stumble in word, he is a perfect man, able also to bridle the whole body.
  • Control your tongue control the rest of your life. And you know this in your relationships
  • And if the world is changed by relationships- shouldn’t you watch what you say?
  • Further more- shouldn’t you use your tongue for edification and not destruction?
  • People are weary around you- the need encouragement- not destruction- lift them up
  • Isaiah 50:4 “The Lord God has given Me The tongue of the learned, That I should know how to speak A word in season to him who is weary. He awakens Me morning by morning, He awakens My ear To hear as the learned.
  • 1 Thes 5:11 Therefore comfort each other and edify one another, just as you also are doing.
  • Psa 37:30 pr 24:26 pro 16:13 col 4:6

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