THERE ARE THREE SIDES to every story: the one side, the other side, and the truth. The truth is sometimes a varying of the two sides, but can be wholly one side or the other. But I have learned to not just take the first to speak out at his word.
“The first one to plead his cause seems right, Until his neighbor comes and examines him.”
Proverbs 18:17
One story is good, until the other is told. I don’t like when people publicly air their grievances with someone else, or even worse denigrate a church from their social platform. I don’t like it at all and I don’t trust those who publicly spew their disdain.
I have been on the silent side of a public accusation and I can tell you the report was a great manipulation of the truth. Not only was the truth twisted and perverted, but blatant lies were told and many people were injured.
People like to leave out those details that could possibly paint them in bad lighting. Anytime I see a public post that paints the author as a victim and the other side as a villain, I am immediately suspicious. This is rarely ever the case. Most true victims keep it to themselves. Don’t look to me for sympathy, you won’t get it. I’m not quick to jump on the disdain train.
The tale spun that “I am the victim and I did nothing wrong” is a fairly common story, but is almost never the case. Especially in the church world where offenses and unfaithfulness are at an all time high. As we are told concerning culture at the end of days, “And then many will be offended, will betray one another, and will hate one another.” (Matt 24:10)
I have been a student of people for many years and in ministry for 20 years as a church planter and women’s pastor, and I can tell you I have seen it all. Not to speak evil of my gender, but women can be the worst offenders of holding and spreading offenses. It’s Jezebel that seeks to control and manipulate by emotions.
Oh the tales I could tell! People that accuse others of villainy are rarely the victim. Why are you so quick to believe a public report without any proof? Have you ever noticed that a public victim story gets a lot of likes and comments, and then to top it off those who share their same disdain come out of the woodwork to add insult to injury? It’s shameful, godless, raging behavior.
“The simple believes every word, But the prudent considers well his steps. A wise man fears and departs from evil, But a fool rages and is self-confident.” Proverbs 14:15-16
Maybe people do this because this is what the media and the world does- only showing you a slanted and biased portrait. Then the whole truth comes out months or sometimes years later and there is never a reprint, apology, repentance or other. It’s not only shameful, it lacks the fear of the Lord. I’m telling you right now, you will give an account to the Lord for your words, whether they are said or typed out. Every idle word men will give account for. Every word. You should fear God. Some of you will have a lot to account for on judgment day.
If you have a personal problem with someone, call them up and work through it. If you can’t find a solution, choose to agree to disagree and go your way amicably. Stop holding an offense. You are only destroying your own soul. I don’t care if they did a horrible thing to you. Release all bitterness. And for goodness sake, if you were truly done wrong then leave the vengeance where it belongs with the Lord and not on a public platform. If you fear God, then stop publicly slandering and “vague-booking” the church you left. You are not a victim. Examine your own heart and get it right. If you don’t fear God, then rage on. But I have to warn you, you are only deceiving yourself. You will reap what you sow.
“Repay no one evil for evil. Have regard for good things in the sight of all men. If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men. Beloved, do not avenge yourselves, but rather give place to wrath; for it is written, “Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,” says the Lord.”
Romans 12:17-19
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